In this week’s reading, the concept of a “mer-wife” piqued my attention, because here we have the mermaid crossing into the human realm—the mermaid’s double life, as we have seen in many TV series or movies. These stories, the mermaid must decide between her life in the sea and life as a human; she can’t “have it all.” For the name of love, without any knowledge of the human realm outside her partner, she chooses to give up her life and marry the man she has just met. The Penguin Book of Mermaids describes the concept of the mer-wife to the desire of men: “These tales speak to the discrepancy between men’s longing for a woman unfettered by social mores and their attempt to control her by domesticating her.” (xviii). To men, the mer-wife is their perfect fantasy of an ‘untamable’ woman ‘domesticated’ by their masculinity.

I think it is interesting that once a mermaid has decided to live the ‘human’ life, they are ‘domesticated’, similar to how we describe a pet. In these stories, the mermaid giving up her life for one that will forever be controlled by the perspective of the man she marries is slightly disturbing. The concept feels disturbing because she has not developed her own thoughts and is essentially childlike. The mer-wife has a very innocent, naive perspective on the human world. Men desire an unattainable woman, and desire to be the one to teach her how to ‘live’. Similar to how a parent teaches their child how to navigate society. There is this weird undertone of infantilization towards the ‘mer-wife”.

This concept reminds me of a story told in Merpeople: A Human History about two women who found a mermaid and showed her the path of God, and saved her, essentially ‘domesticating’ her to live in the realm we humans deem ‘acceptable’. The idea that once again the ‘other’ can be conditioned and molded into living in our society. Men and women are domesticating the mermaid in the patriarchal society.

In the realm of feminism, to have women and men neglect the mermaid of choice showcases similar issues we have today. Not allowing the mermaid to choose to live both lives or have a life of her own, because a woman cannot “have it all,” demonstrates feminist issues still occurring today. The mer-wife showcases the constraints women are forced into in a patriarchal society.